We Are Friends - Why?

Friendships can be formed to various different strengths and in various different situations. I have noticed several types of friendship types. First up and perhaps the weakest form of friendship is called acquaintance. These are people u meet via other people u know and as such when u see them in the high street u feel u have to say hello and take an interest in what they're up to and how they are regardless of whether you're actually interested as it would be rude not to. Family friends can also fit into this category as well because you may not actually see them that often and they may not be your friend directly.

Next up i would say would be old friends that you don't see very often. These are people that you once knew and perhaps at one point you were good friends but have lost contact over the years and see each other once in a blue moon. Now in this case i can imagine as they were once important to u that u do actually have a genuine interest into what they are up to these days and actually care about their well being. However due to whatever reason it was you lost contact u eventually lose interest and you become estranged again.

Further up the scale you have the work friend. This is someone u speak to at work regularly as it helps to brighten up a rather boring day usually as very few people actually enjoy going to work as very few people actually get a job doing something they actually wanted or enjoy doing. This is however about as far as it goes. You may go out occasionally for a works do or a bit of r&r but you never take any interest in their life outside work and they none in yours and when or if one of you changes jobs you don't keep in contact and that chapter in each others lives is closed.

Of course if things do go well you can find that in each of the categories i have mentioned above you can get that friendship upgraded up to being a regular social friend. Things that can make this happen are you actually find that you do actually quite like this persons company and don't mind seeing them on a regular basis so you decided to hang out more and invite them to social dos you may host or go to activities you like doing as long as they like them too. If this goes on for a while you may find that you do actually care about this person and this can lead to the type of friendship, close friend.

A close friend is someone you turn to when you perhaps need advice or somethings upset or bothered you and you need someone who you believe cares about your feelings and interests as much as you do about theirs. You trust this person to help you out in these difficult times and be there when you need them in whatever capacity you do at that time. You also expect them to give you their honest opinion especially when you yourself are doing something that is not in your best interests. This can be difficult to maintain as people by their very nature do not agree all the time and this can lead to conflict which can not always be negotiated successfully without fallout. However if you can do this and maintain it for many years then you find yourself in the final and strongest form of friendship category which is, friends for life.

These people are those that will be with you through thick and thin. They will always be there when called upon and people have even go so far as to say that these people are to them like unofficial family members. These are the people you reserve the most important of responsibilities for. Such as being best man or maid of honour at your wedding. Or someone to leave the kids with on a night out or if you get called away on an emergency. To hopefully not be overly dramatic here but these are the friends that are so important to you and each other (because i am assuming mutual feelings and respect here) that they are willing to perhaps even put their own life on the line if the situation demanded it.

Of course not everyone or their friendships are going to be the same but this is the basic outline for the various strengths of friendship that exist in the world. My thoughts and queries here is to how and perhaps most importantly why certain people can go from the weakest group of friendship and work their way up to a stronger if not quite the strongest form of friendship and why others can't. Do we need to have these friendships? If so why? Is it an innate instinct to make some friendships for life and perhaps some just for the time being to get by and then ditch them when we don't need them.

Human beings by their very nature have always been social creatures. Right from the days when we were just a primitive ape like creature to the sophisticated (well some of us anyway) and complex creatures we are today. It has been through our social skills and ability to communicate that we have become the most dominate species on the planet. We have learnt that working with each other has its benefits and as such business like friendships have been forged to allow the human species to go forwards. Now I'm not saying that all friendships we forge are like this but human instinct has forced us into making friends to help us get through life in general. This is what has made me think that deep down on some level that we don't just make friends because we want to but because we are driven to by our very nature. This means you can shove us into any given situation and we will make friends with whoever is there. This could therefore make us question the validity of certain friendships we have made because when looking at the friend you have made you end up looking at the circumstances in which the friendship is forged rather than the characteristics of the person that made you want to be friends with them.

Now I am not saying that all the friends we have made are down to instinct. A certain amount of the reason we make friends is because its part of our nature as human beings but when making friends for a longer period of time a lot more of it is down to conscious decision on our part based on what we need as individuals. Whether we need someone who can keep us amused or entertained or someone who can get us through the bad times as you can not quite deal with it by yourself. I feel when making a friend then the type of person we are determines what type of person we make friends with.

Perhaps it is this need for certain characteristics in our friends is what can determine how long we remain friends with them and the type of friendship you have. People are constantly changing throughout their lives and what maybe one of you needed at one stage in your life you grow out of and don't need anymore. You then find you need something else and that person you needed for the thing you used to need them for can not fulfill what you need now from them. Now this may not end a friendship but it can change the strength of it if it does not.

The ever changing nature of a person is what can drive us on through life making new friends to replace the ones we lose. Whether it be to drifting apart due to the fact you don't need them anymore or whether it be a falling out or even moving away, friends get lost and we then need to fill the void that that person, if they were that important to you, leaves behind. Friends are like a family for us when we are away from the one we grew up with. Each one serving a purpose to you and giving you the love and comfort that you get from your family in your formative years as an infant.

Making friends it would seem is down to a combination of both instinct and conscious choice. As social creatures human beings naturally seek out others to interact with be it for business like reasons or recreational ones because that is what we are programmed instinctively to do. A need to create a family wherever we are as our own can not always be there for us. It is however a mainly conscious decision on what type of person we choose to become friends with, as we all need certain things from people to make up for any failings that we as individuals possess because lets face it none of us are perfect. We all have our strengths and weaknesses and each of us possess different ones. What we may perceive we have a weakness in we may see a friend of ours has a strength in and as such we draw on their strength to help make up for our weakness in this area.

And if u get a group of friends then you may, if all works well as a unit, form one perfect human being with no flaws or weaknesses. And if this can continue to be the way over the years then perhaps you have managed to work your way up through the friend groups until you reach the final and strongest group, the friends for life